College: Part 1

If I had to pick three words to describe how college makes me feel, they'd be:

My heart sings.

The mention of college is like a warmth that blossoms through my heart and head and fills me with so much happiness that I feel so content and -- sing.

I'm a singer. By training. But I've lost all that, that voice, that ability, the boldness of singing out loud. The only time I sing anymore is when I'm alone at home, and the weather's beautiful, and because I want to.

Where to start? Where to end? What part of me has college left untouched? 

---

My miserable alarm wakes my usually sleep deprived body up. In the winters, I'd set it early so that my reluctance to leave my enormous comforter (which has been with me the whole year, winter or summer) wouldn't make me late for PT, the horrific morning ritual that bears 2 extracurricular credits per semester, earned through attendance. I've no objection to any part of this except the "ungodly hour" part. At least in summer you didn't need put on a thick jacket after your sleepy fingers tie up your running shoes and run into the foggy darkness of the football ground. Ah, but who am I kidding-- I prefer the winter anyways.

Heads lolling all over the bench in front of the Girls' Hostel (or GH, so aptly abbreviated by everyone around here), drooping with sleep and assignment-induced agony, we wait for the frightfully shrill whistle (so reminiscent of those annoying Fiitjee watchmen!) that tells us that our walrus of a coach has arrived. (Not that he's massive, he just has a walrus moustache.) On days when he's feeling sadistic, he makes us jog rounds around the football ground, exercises, and then some horrible activity that he makes us zombies do. On good days, he just allows us to flash our ID card for attendance after a few rounds of jogging.

I can't bear anything more than jogging. At least my sleepy body can do that without stopping for as many rounds as Walrus likes. In the beginning of the year I'd stop occasionally with a stitch in my side or out of pure exhaustion, but I'll admit I've built a bit more stamina thanks to PT. Although it feels like absolute hell the first 30 seconds, I start slipping into other thoughts as I run, starting from the delicious feeling of the dull burn in my calves. And I can't stop. With each round the sun rises higher over the Nilgiri building, and I get closer and closer to .. nothing.

It's the last round, and I flash my ID card at turn to leave. In the first month, I'd try to get some breakfast, have a bath, and leave for class. As sleep became more volatile, I replaced 'breakfast' with 'sleep'. And in the second semester, when my annoying first period professor started taking attendance at 8:30 sharp, I had to reverse the order: bath, sleep, and then go to class on time.

I had to do a month of yoga in between. It was absolutely horrible. It was earlier, stricter, and had absolutely no running involved. I thought I would die before I reached the minimum of 20 days to pass. After that, on the first day back to PT, the Walrus was in one of his sadistic moods again, so after rounds, he made us climb up and down the stairs of Nilgiri 5 times. 

Needless to say, I ran with the enthusiasm of Spongebob with his square pants on fire. Even on the fifth time, I was thinking, 'I LOVE PT!!' *rabid frightening grin*

It took three more days of gruelling PT to get over that feeling. Permanently.

"YES! YES! I passed two semesters of PT, and yoga!!!" *mails entire family with a screenshot of proof*

---

There are two types of classes: the classes you sleep in, and the classes you don't sleep in. This categorization depends on a number of factors like the number of credits of the course, the time slot for the class and its intersection with your staying-awake ability (I get more awake as the day progresses, while I hear some people manage their first two periods before dozing off), the boring factor of the class in question, the strictness of the professor who's taking it, and finally, the strength and timing of the coffee at the cafe downstairs.

There has to be one period in a day where I sleep in class, or else I'm utterly screwed for lab in the afternoon. Let me tell you, labs are always in sleepy environments that are made to be wrecking balls for your concentration. Even with the sleep in class and the little siesta in lunch break, sometimes you'll find yourself drooping over the breadboard kit or shoving the keyboard away to put your head down and sleep.

I always choose my coffee break strategically for optimum awake-time. Coffee isn't ready before the first period, so that's always screwed anyways. My second period was Math II this semester-- waste of time, so I used to get coffee after it was done, to stay awake for my favorite period, Data Structures, and be totally alert in Basic Electronics Circuits (which explains my impeccable notes for these two subjects).

Going down to the cafe is always fun. The guy stocks different stuff to eat throughout the year. In the beginning, like a godsend, he sold blueberry muffins (oh my god, the gastronomical ecstacy!), and finally ended up at little packaged strips of yummy cake. On occasion I'd look at the egg puffs and samosas (in which I'd stuff many green chillies in for the bang factor) and as summer arrived, I switched to strong cold coffee, which was the bomb. Other liquid obsessions include Minute Maid Pulpy Orange (!!!! <3) and Appy Fizz.

The other unrelated category of classes is the kind you can eat in. Some professors are too observant, but some don't even care. Math I, and Visual and Sonic Culture, were my eating classes-- I'd carry food up from the cafe and sit there eating through class, an art perfected in Fiitjee with Steffie by my side. (I miss your chicken samosas, punk.)

Then of course, another unrelated category of classes where you don't show up until it's time for attendance to be taken. Electronics Workshop was one class I'd use to catch up on sleep in my room and finally stroll in in time for attendance, because we did most of the project work in other hours anyways. And of course, Visual and Sonic Culture, the "guest appearance" class. :P

As surprising as it seems after all these details, I do pay attention to class, and sometimes I feel a happy, nerdy thrill of learning something so new. I'm so glad we're doing real stuff instead of being stuck with the same old MPC shit. If I look at myself at the same time last year, I see such an exponential learning curve following it. Seriously, what I've learnt in the past year is so much compared to the crap we learnt in 12 years of schooling. Even through crappy assignments and miserable deadlines, you learn to love every minute of it. One week at home will make you crave for a programming assignment, and a month away from college makes you feel like you're wasting away inside. There's 4 months of a back-breaking semester, but when it's followed by 3 months of holidays... you end up on your blog to scratch the itch of utter joblessness. XD

---

Traditionally, we have classes in the morning, and labs and tutorials taken by our seniors in the afternoon. Depending on the teaching capabilities of the TA in question, the need for sleep, and the nearest submission deadline, we have to choose whether or not to attend the tute. This semester, for example, we had a Math II tute followed by BEC on Fridays. BEC assignments, the worst of the lot, had to be turned in at the tute, and Math II was way too easy to require any help from a TA (all you need is one night before the exam), so I don't think I ever attended a single Math tute this semester, apart from the first one. Even when we stopped submitting BEC assignments on time, I used Math's amazing placement as the period after lunch to catch up on-- you guessed it -- sleep.

Labs are another story all together. Missing lab is like taking a hammer to my glass conscience. After much persuasion, I skipped the last Data Structures lab of the year (because it was a waste of time and I needed to complete my Electronics Workshop project!!), but other than that, I’ve almost never skipped any lab.

Labs almost always go one of two ways: one, everything is sunshine and rainbows and moves along smoothly and perfectly. All the specified outputs in DLP/BEC lab, or your programs executing correctly one after the other as you code in the C/Data Structures labs… and then you show your work to the TA, get your marks, and walk out of there with your head held high—with an hour to spare. Ah. Good times. I usually follow this up with some Minute Maid, and get back to the hostel to clean my room and relax (yes, these two verbs belong in the same sentence for me, pretty much all the time. XD)

Then there’s the other dark way a lab could swing—simply put: NOTHING WORKS.

Even the very first thing you are supposed to get doesn’t appear. You try and try and try again, to be met with limited success. You fall into despair, give up all hope, and look here and there desperately for help. The TA falls prey to your repeated pleas for assistance, but at the end of their efforts all you feel is a bubbling frustration that threatens to form a pointy sharp spear and impale them… as Kaiser would want them impaled. XD

At the end of the lab, where you’ve either resorted to copying values or even entire programs, and you’re absolutely emotionally drained (and it shows on your weathered face), you limp over to the TA, get everything checked, don’t give a damn about attendance and marks, and scurry out of there.

(*Speed dial number 6* “Nikita?…I need a juice. Get your ass out here.”)

---

There is only one constant in college, and that is the presence of a looming assignment deadline. There isn’t a single day you can sit back and say, “Well, I have nothing to do!” And if there is, you’ll remember a seemingly distant deadline next week, or your annoying electronics project, and the illusion of joblessness poofs away (although you can force its existence in your mind, so you can take a much needed break).

Programming assignments require the most amount of regular work. 3 days before the deadline, you sit with your head in your hands and your laptop on your... lap -_- Then you peek out into the corridor, grab a hold of the nearest Bond who managed to complete the question you’re working on, and ask them for ‘the logic’. And then you begin to code.

On average, you spend around 20 hours coding for the bloody assignment. Even if your outputs are perfect, you’ll have an extra space glitch, or new line problems, and the stubborn Online Judge where we upload our programs for instant evaluation rejects your programs with a blunt ‘Wrong Answer, 0 marks’. Then you have to wait for the one who experiments until the trick behind uploading seemingly correct answers is open to all (“There’s no space at the end of the last line, but one after every other line!” -_-) Other than this drama, there’s the actual making-a-working-program part, followed by the upload-trick-verification, and then, resolving problems like ‘Time Limit Exceeded’ or ‘Segmentation Fault’ or god forbid, the ever puzzling ‘Wrong Answer, 30 marks’.

But there’s the absolute ecstacy over a little green bar that says ‘Accepted, 100 marks’. The swearing the OJ deserves for being so picky. The late hours of sitting in a room full of coding friends. The sudden breaks for food or juice and absolute madness. The constant requests for the coveted ‘LAN wire’. The balancing act of the laptop over one palm as you sling the aforementioned Ethernet cable over yourself while walking over to your floor’s LAN room. The tight feeling that contracts your rib cage when you hit the upload button, and refresh the ‘Status’ page. Watching the ‘Assessing…’ change to…

“YES!!!! I love you, Ria, it got uploaded!!...Let’s go get a juice?”

---

Then of course, the written assignments. Let's be honest here. The only time you have time to do this shit is when you have no programming to do, and that's like, never. And even then, you do it only if you feel a burning, volatile sincerity. Otherwise, it's just a matter of arranging for a completed assignment, a good half an hour, and some A4 sheets (we've all bought a stack in the beginning of the year. XD).

Sometimes it's desperation that brings you to this stage-- you're not understanding a word being taught in class, and despite the will to study it, there's simply no time because of all the other work to do, and then the deadline approaches, and you really want to understand everything and do the assignment yourself, but time is up and you find yourself copying off someone's calculations and scribbles-- again. Week after week of this situation, and you find yourself a day away from the midsem. And that's when you finally reach for the book and sit for a whole night with the absorptive capacity of a keen sponge and superpowers of understanding as things flow into your head.

And after passing every midsem exam, you tell yourself you'll do your assignments yourself, on time, this time around.

It never happens. The dam of midsems you've built over the river of assignments bursts, and everything you haven't done because "There were exams!" comes bursting out and floods you. As a result, this week's BEC assignment will have to be copied. And then the next. And the next..

"Shit! There's only one day to study for BEC finals!" "What?? But I don't know anything in BEC, yaar!"

A vicious cycle indeed. But God bless those souls who finish assignments on time. XD

---

Coming to actual exams, I can only say one thing about it—hellzone. The week leading to exams is often unfortunately plowed with assignments and desperate situations. Sometimes you just throw up your arms and say, “Screw this shit! I’m not uploading all my programs. I’m gonna go study something else.” (Only to be lured back later by the supposed simplicity of the program and your now inbuilt drive to upload the entire assignment no matter what). And suddenly you’re faced with all the exams, back to back, and not a single holiday to study for subjects you have no idea about.

And then, they begin. And no matter how well or how bad they go, there are always the wonderful memories you make during exam days. Coming back from an exam bursting full of things to say about it, at least until everyone decides to deny that it happened. There’s a chorus of “Chalo” and then plans to take a nap (no one’s slept the night before, obviously) and waking duties distributed. Usually Nikita or Ria traipse into my room and sleep with me until Saumya calls out from her room, nearly opposite mine, to wake us up. Both Nikita and Ria loll around forever before they get up, I can probably never forget the whole scene of them wrapped up in my bed, in my dark room, while I keep calling out to wake them from Saumya’s room, where I’ve parked myself on her bed with my books or laptop, while Saumya sits on her cushion on the floor. When everyone’s awake, we eventually either group together in someone’s room, or split up into pairs, or even just walk around, find an empty room, and sit there alone. (Open door policy during exams FTW =P)

I usually rob Q Mart before the exams and bring an enormous bag of food for them. Because you just never get as hungry as you do during the exams. Once in a while, someone comes to my room and rummages around for something sweet or salty in the food bag. Me and Nikita occasionally skip dinner and use Arpita’s kettle for Cup Noodles later in the night. I love food, and I love giving, and this is usually how it comes together. XD

Then there are those fabulous breaks from studying, which spring up when the text in our 

books starts to blur together, or you find yourself so tired, so tired of a miserable chapter, or even from the satisfaction of finishing a topic. You and your studying partner, or whoever is currently occupying your room, get up and find company. Sometimes you take along a packet of bhel puri and Ria’s enormous plate, Ritika’s spoons, and make an enormous amount of chaat to eat. You call out to the corridor and everyone comes to grab a few spoons. Satisfied, we sit in the corridor and discuss some crap or the other, tease a bit, even dance around if someone’s in the mood (it’s usually Shivani or Ankita), grab my camera or Saumya’s phone and record some hilarious, awesome BC. Yes, there’s no other thing you can call it, it’s just BC to us and nothing can ever fully capture everything we do as much as these two letters do. :P

There’s often the stage of absolute madness when the studying has just been going on for too long. Infectious laughing, crappy jokes, loud music, nonsensical discussions and mad dancing around the corridor. I guess we’ve been lucky to get such an isolated wing, the only first years on the floor, in a corner of the building, or we’d have been in trouble a long time ago. XD

The last half an hour before an exam is a scurry for extra pens and pencils, last minute doubts and straightening out our horribly unkempt appearance. I dump the clipboard in my bag with my pencil pouch and wallet, share my mirror with Ria as we hurriedly comb our hair and walk to the exam together (our roll numbers always almost ensure we’re always together-- along with Meghana who calls to either find out or inform us of where our exam room is). The sound of multiple doors slamming shut and a dozen locks being turned, and we set out like heroes, until someone turns back for a forgotten ID card, and someone takes a detour, and slowly we spilt up into our little exam groups as we head in different directions. Calls of good luck and the power walking to the exam hall, and suddenly you reach that calm, quiet place where you set down your bag, sit down and breathe, settling into the oddly addictive exam atmosphere.

"Shit, yaar, what was that diagram thing we forgot to ask Saumya about?" "Aw, crap... well, I don’t know and I don’t care anymore.”

Five minutes later: “Shit.”

Two hours later: “Let’s have some juice!”

---

One of the best parts of staying in the hostel is the memorable birthdays. There's cake and a surprise, beating up the birthday girl, and then  a little juice party at midnight. By now you've probably realized the importance of juice in our lives. Assignments, exams, birthdays, breaks, practices, walks, just-like-that, proximity to the juice wala ("so let's just grab a juice anyways"), canteen dinners, non-veg mess lunches... you ask a question, the answer will be juice. The whirring of the grinder is a constant background score for many a conversation. Mimi always has the pineapple, while the rest of us jump between sweet lime, grape, mixed fruit, chikoo... my god, how I miss having juice. :P The hit of the cold coffee on an exam midnight while we struggle to stay up and cram; the lightness of sweet lime as we wash our dinners down; the joy a chikoo juice brings to empty stomachs..

"I'm going for juice!"

Five minutes later, half a dozen slippers are being worn and we all set out, footsteps and laughter echoing through the night, walking through the alternate patches of golden light and tree-induced darkness. Far off we hear the tortured screams of someone's birthday, as we settle ourselves underneath the hut-roof near the juice wala.

"Bhaiya, teen chikoo, do mausambi, ek grape, ek pineapple, aur do cold coffee!"

---

There are a number of things we do at college for fun. Endless seasons of tv shows. All types of movies-- serious ones, romcoms, "scary" movies with friends in a dark room ('Vertigo' comes to mind XD), downright creepy ones ('Black Swan' o.0) and if Nikita permits *grumble* something with literal ass-kicking. Sleep and music and BC. Long walks around campus with Nikita in the middle of the night. There was even a phase of midnight basketball in the first semester, with a whole bunch of other first years and some seniors. Then, oh, the late night practices for cultural events. Hours of timepass and dance practice, some food from DLF when it gets too late, water cooler chit-chat, some spying on the other dances..

Of course this brings us to the college fest. 3 days of absolute fun, roaming around, checking out random competitions, taking a million pictures, the amazing food stalls, dressing up, the crazy night events and bands playing.. you have no idea why everyone loves the fest so much until you witness one yourself. Even campaigning for the fest in other colleges is so much fun-- roaming around with friends and putting up posters, checking out their canteen, clicking ridiculous photos..

"Aye haye Riaaaa... nottie hottie Somia! Felicity me bande patane ja rahe ho kya?"

---

I love cleaning my room. I know it sounds odd, but it is one of the best things about having a room at college. After a long day with enough time to spare for some me-time, I buy a cold Minute Maid Pulpy Orange (and several water bottles for the coming days) and sip it as I go upstairs to my empty floor and unlock my door. 

I always start with my table-- putting my books back, my speakers in, throwing out my old water bottles and replacing then with the new ones, grabbing a plastic bag and picking up all the trash... then the bed.. then the cupboard.. and finally I lay a new bed spread, set my comforter over it, sweep and mop the floor, and take the trash out. I turn around and my room is sparkling in the evening light-- neat, nearly empty table (the pencils even aligned straight with the edge), completely empty and made bed, and a clean floor.

Sometimes Sahiti comes out of her room and sits on my bed, helping me hold up the canopy of silence I weave as I clean. Sometimes when I'm done I shut the door, lie on my bed looking up at the ceiling, or read the book of poetry I borrowed from the library. A constant in my cleaning process and the aftermath is the music-- it's either Clocks by Coldplay, or Shiki no Uta, from Samurai Champloo. 'Clocks' sums up every feeling I had in the few weeks of college-- not the lyrics, just the music. The lovely, rolling notes of the piano explains my ecstacy so easily-- the joy of meeting new people, the wonders of college life, the just the newness of everything. Shiki no Uta was my sleep song for the entire year-- and god, how I love the Samurai Champloo OST. 

One of the best things about college is the time I can make for myself. Whenever I want, I can surround myself with friends. And then, when I want to, when it's all too much, and I feel downright anti-social for a while, I can take some time off, do what ever I want. Clean my room. Lock myself in, read, sleep, sit, dream, think... Walk around alone. Go the open lab by myself, settle down and write. Be alone, be happy, be content. At least two to three days of this, it's crucial to me every month or so, or I'd explode. The only contact I maintain is with Nikita, if she asks once in a while where I am. Somehow she subconsciously knows when I'm on my off-time, and leaves me well alone. God I love her. :P

I don't need words to end this section, because that's what this is-- just silence and content.

---

Where to start and where to end? A net of so many words and yet the feeling of college escapes it like breeze through my fingers. The sun warming your back as you walk back from class. The crunch of the leaves beneath your feet. The amazing canopy of green, green, green. The million butterflies fluttering around you. The desperate sprint to get attendance in class. The chillies in the samosas, the egg puffs, the chocolate smoothies, the strawberry lassis, the countless juices, the buttermilk at the health mess, (this part will never end, so I'll shut up now!) The chill of the morning fog on your cheeks and nose. The music playing through our floor, the laughter and sounds of merriment, and the smiles. The sight of sleeping students in class and tutorials. The campus at night.  The campus in the day. The campus in rain. The warmth of the comforter and green tea with Shivani. The drive home from college with my dad, listening to Khaabon ke Parindey. Love in every hug. A hug for any love. Reshmi's surprised yelp as I pick her up and spin her around. The stars when the power goes off, and candles in the corridor when that happens. Photo upon photo that still makes me smile at every little incident. Working on a project late into the night. The smell of solder. The smell of rain, trees, even Nikita's perfume. The sounds of cheering and hooting and screaming. Me and Nikita bumping into each other with weak laughter as we walk in the night. The lights of Indira Nagar. The lights on campus. The lights in the corridors. Rubbing my eyes coding late into the night. Bonding. Eating. Sleeping. Dreaming.


Forever dreaming.

Last link in the chain: 4444 words exactly! Hahahaha. :P A week left for college to begin again, and I can't wait.