Worries, Worries

Aw hell. It's hardly been 3 days since I was lamenting about strength and lack thereof, and it seems to me that some holy something up there decided to let me know whether or not I possess any mental strength.
I would be grateful, but the circumstances ... are not very great.
A couple of days ago, we were hosting a dinner party for my dad's colleagues from America, who had come down here for operation reviews. My dad had been working like crazy the last 2 weeks; the first week to make sure everything was in order, and the second week holding day-long meetings with the aforementioned people. So these people came home for dinner, and apparently my dad told my mom that he was feeling feverish before they came. After they left, she checked up on his temperature and found out that it was a freaking 104.
So the last 4 days have been busy, to say the least. It was quite shocking to see my dad sick. It's usually my brother and my mom coughing away to glory, while me and my dad, with our strong-as-a-horse immunity, keep watch over them. In fact, I've just realized, that in 16 years of my existence, my dad has never fallen sick (not including the regular seasonal cough and cold). We've also had a flurry of visitors and phone calls. The fever wasn't subsiding, so we assumed it was a viral fever coupled with a lot of stress.
Even so, my grandad and dad had to go to the emergency 2 nights ago when he hit 103 again. The medicine he got there seemed to work brilliantly, his temperature back to normal in an hour. So the whole time I was fussing over him while thinking it would pass like any fever, but take a bit longer due to fatigue.
Yesterday night, though, he couldn't sleep because of some weird pain in his arm. To put it briefly, my mom panicked, because that's a symptom of heart disease. Again, even though I had a tiny bit of doubt and worry, I was thinking it would pass, and it was probably because he'd been sleeping too long on that arm for a couple of days. Considering all he was doing was sleeping.
Today he was kinda normal, so he went for a couple of tests in the hospital, even though he'd gone for them recently. In the evening though, the fever was back, and we got the results for some of the tests.
And that's how a perfectly normal day turned into a melodramatic evening.
Hell, I'm wondering why my writing here is so damn nonchalant when I'm not feeling that way. First off, the blood test was perfectly normal, except a certain something called erythrocyte sedimentation rate, if I remember correctly. The maximum normal range is 10. My dad's was an 84, and my own heart blasted right out of me when I saw that. The other tests till then were normal, and my dad had to go to the hospital again to get the rest of his reports.
He called again at around 7, and I walked into my mom's bedroom to see a mess. There were reports everywhere and my mom and my grandmom were going through them. My mom asked me to find my dad's latest blood reports. So I didn't ask any questions and began sifting through years of our medical files.
I didn't really need to ask questions. After my grandmom left the room, my mom turned to me with her huge eyes and I just knew something was wrong. And I was like,'What??' And to my absolute horror, she started crying.
She said that my dad had called and the doctors had said they need to admit him tonight because of something that sounded like a kidney infection and also a slight heart problem (she was pretty incoherent).
I just stood there for two whole seconds and then returned to the situation at hand. I hugged my mom real tight and rubbed her back and everything and asked her what she was going to do. She said she was going to the hospital, so I asked her if she needed me to come along. Like, thrice. She said no each time and said that I didn't need to come, but I kept turning around the question and asked her if she needed me to come.
So in the end I told her to go and not to worry, and that I could take care of everything at home till tomorrow afternoon (I had dinner ready, but I can't handle tomorrow's lunch). And in my head, all I was chanting was dontcrydontcrydontcry your mom needs you to be strong!!
So I managed till she left, and unfortunately, I could not go to pieces privately, because I realized my dad's mom and mom's dad were still here at home. Instead, I picked up Oreo and hugged him tightly for a long time. My dad's mom left a couple of minutes later to the hospital with her husband, and as if she read my verbally hesitant mind, she was like, 'I'll call you when we get there.' I also managed to get a little more information out of her. Apparently the ECG results were not-so-good (so that was what my mom meant by heart problem).
My mom's dad, on the other hand, decided to stick around for awhile. I still can't believe I sat with him watching IPL for half an hour trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy, and actually succeeding. My initial urge to call Nikki or Aditi and cry over the phone (believe me, I was a mental wreck when my mom left, I can't believe it didn't show) kind of... faded. Of course, as usual, there was a corner of my mind yelling at me for being so withdrawn and un-sharing.
When my grandad left, I totally expected myself to cry, but I hadn't told Manvith too much about the situation and I didn't want him to panic, so instead my head started chanting icannotcryicannotcry or Manvith will freak out. And the most surprising thing was neither did I feel like crying or calling up anyone.
I managed for the next hour reading fan fiction and literally haunting Nikki's and Kaiser's blogs for a post (a new post was so highly unlikely that now I seriously wonder what I was doing there). I got to dinner when my mom called. (Until then I was running every time the phone rang, only to be disappointed). She didn't say much. They were advised to get a second opinion immediately so they were on the way to another hospital. I tried asking her more about what they had said, but my mom, as usual, tried cutting out the details (the same way, I suddenly realized, we weren't giving details to my brother).
So here I am, stuck at home, without any information about my dad, with two grandparents who have decided to stay with us tonight, keeping up some kind of weirdly normal facade for my brother, trying to save my fingernails from murder, and surprisingly, not crying (I just can't get over that fact can I?).
So maybe, just maybe, I might be a little stronger than I thought in weird situations. But once again, it's probably because I have to be.
That's the least of my worries, though, and I don't think I can fall asleep tonight. I shall try knocking myself out by reading a chapter monster fan fic till way into the night, until I can't keep my eyes open.
PAAAANIC.
Last link of the chain: ..... siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. FML.
And yes, Nikki, I swore. You can close your mouth now. =P