Onwards and Beyond

So for some odd reason I darted here to post something after getting an email from Manipal. Again. Heck, isn't it already clear I'm not joining their excuse of an institute? Well, maybe I shouldn't be insulting it that much, considering it was the backup plan for my backup for the main backup plan for college... But considering Backup Plan #1 worked beautifully, I can look down at it all I want now. XD Course, 'Diti-chan's going there, but she's going to the medical college. Heck of a difference. Right?

Went and paid the fees at IIIT-H today. Found a confirmation email in my inbox within a few hours. Hmm- I think I rather like this college I'm joining. =P I went with my grandfather to give him the pleasure of paying fees for a third generation of engineers in our family-- or so my dad said-- and it was an ... enlightening experience. My grandfather is a hundred times the obsessive freak I am at times, and the whole time he was poking holes in my preparation for paying the fees. Nikki had already done so last week, so I knew first-hand that they didn't ask for anything but the demand draft, but I brought along a file of copies of my passport and board exam marks and SAT scores, with a few photographs-- you know, the works-- just in case. He threw a fit from Banjara Hills to Kavuri Hills about me not bringing along a pen. I can see where he's coming from-- the times where people stood in lines at his government office holding hundreds of documents and the ultimate, precious, pen-- but you know what, even the security at the gate has a couple of ball-point pens now -_-" But I humored him and dug out a pen from the car (amazing how that happens, right?) and used it throughout my time at IIIT. Which was very brief, actually. The woman at the admissions desk took the demand draft and gave me a brochure that welcomed me to the institute-- I have yet to read it fully-- and we left. I actually wanted to explore the campus a little, but you know, it wasn't really possible with my grandfather, so I just headed back to the car. From what I've seen, though, I think it's pretty spiffy. Not the greatest, but it beats a few other engineering colleges that come to mind by a lot. And I didn't really get to see the main buildings, so I suppose I can't really say.

Other college news-- I am so pleased to shout out to the world that Nikki, Jasmine and Sneha (Nikki's permanent benchmate at Fiitjee) will all be joining me at IIIT. Wow, I'm going to college with a set of friends already. Now I just need to find someone with Ank's wit to keep me entertained... or it's gonna be Skype all the time from VIT, where she is. =P

Speaking of friends... You know, I've never really been in a group of friends before Fiitjee. I just had two or three best friends who never really got along with each other amazingly-- with the exception of Aditi and Jasmine, because the three of us bonded on the excursion to Kerala in 7th grade-- so I never really felt a feeling of belonging, or us, per se. So it was new to have a nine-- nine!!-- member group in Fiitjee. Now that that phase is done, I can think about it and say-- well, it was rather fun. Sure, there were surges of annoyance or mini grudges once in a while, but now all I can remember everyone with is fondness. Shruti was so warm and sweet and good, and hugged the crap out of you on a regular basis-- something I surprisingly didn't mind, because her hugs cause lump-in-your-throat-itis. Kruthika was surprisingly fun to hang out with, eternally amusing when she fake-quarrelled with Ank. Sin was unfortunately never in my section, and I always feel we missed each other by inches, when I think of all the fun we could have had with our many shared interests. Kavya reminds me of all of our lunches on the terrace-- gosh, so long ago!!-- and her Nutella contributions XD Piks is my fabulous friend and carpool mate in both Ascent and Pinnacle with a kickass attitude which never fails to make me laugh, and brings along a rush of awesome memories we've shared in the car and outside. Jasmine is going to be that friend from third grade and forever since, all the way through college as well! Nothing can ever replace our strong, strong relationship-- we've drifted in and out of each other's lives through the years, never any hard feelings, and always know that the other is there a phone call away. We have so many memories together, and if I start talking about them, I'll never end. Anushka is the other 3rd grade friend who's made it with me so far, and unfortunately is in a different college now. She's irreplaceable, with the memory of an elephant when it comes to our Chirec antics and other stories from the place, and strikingly similar humorous thoughts as mine. She's my phone buddy and Skype buddy and email buddy and Facebook buddy and school buddy.. forever in conversation, one way or the other XD Must I explain Nikki? She's my facebook mom and always in sync with my thoughts, no matter how differently we are on the outside. (Unfortunately for her, she's my rant person-- some of our phone calls have been completely one-sided as I let off steam =P) Now why did I write all that? I suppose I was just reliving my memories again. I just wanted to say that being in a group was a very new and nice experience I wouldn't regret for the world. I could be a loner when I wanted to-- just sink into the shadows-- or just quietly sit with any one of a variety of personalities, or yell and tumble about with the rest of them. I was totally spoilt for choice as I was exposed to a wonderful spectrum of characters, and lived like it was a celebration everyday.

And there was-- is, actually-- our little group of Nikki, Kaiser, and me. The size satisfied me in a way a large group never could have. When it comes to trust, it's Nikki and Kaiser first. They're both so smart, sensible, and comfortable and fun to be with. I'm going to miss hanging out in the corridors or at the coffee machine very much, or staying back for extra classes, or doing wacky things like ditching practicals revision classes and walking to the mall and eating at Subway =P

I hate admitting this, but my tear glands are horribly active. I can burst into tears at the slightest hint of emotion-- happiness or anger, fear or simply being upset. I've cried at almost every good important exam result (not in public, of course!)-- and actually wept after IIIT's acceptance letter arrived after a highly-strung day of waiting. I cry when I laugh hard, and everytime I try to be angry at someone, I can't see their face thanks to the tears. And, oh dear lord, I cry whenever someone else starts crying. When we got shuffled for the third time in ninth grade, these two girls flung themselves at me crying, so I did the next best thing and cried with them despite total emotional detachment from the situation. Sure, I'd miss the old class, but to cry for it? Psh. But I totally did, and it wasn't my fault! =|

Oddly enough, when it comes to actual emotional scenes, I'm as dry as a well in summer. Despite expecting a total breakdown and complete embarrassment, I'm usually smiling and feeling awkward about not feeling any emotion at all. Like the farewell in tenth, or when I went to see Ank off before she left for Vellore-- heck, we laughed about not being able to cry about it at all. XDXD Oh sure, I usually feel the loss several months later-- it's always a delayed reaction for me or no reaction at all-- and suffer it briefly, but don't really cry about it. Even when my dad was in the hospital last summer, I cried a total of 3 times during the month-- the first time when I woke up the next morning and called Nikki in shock, totally calm one minute and bawling the next, and the second time when Ank called right after I visited my dad in the hospital for the first time on the same day. The third was not really my fault-- my mom and grandmom ended up sobbing against me while we waited for my dad to move from the ICU post-operation, in the hospital for sometime and all the way home. So I kind of cried back at them, if you get what I mean. Rest of the time, I was actually cool-headed about the whole thing. Sure, there was panic, but never tears. There's a reason why I was always elected to sit by my dad.

Even now I'm absolutely tearless as I talk about old friends and memories. I may dwell on the past a lot more than what is healthy, and enjoy trips down the memory lane too often, but there's a part of me always looking onwards and beyond. And I can't help but smile as I do, even as friends part and things change and people cry all around me.

Last link in the chain: Well, maybe not that last bit. Damn my tear glands!