The return to my blog should have been marked by more interesting entries, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. For the time being this blog shall be filled with rants, dramas, and the like until my brain kicks off.
Weather here is quite nice of late. A tad too warm for my liking, but wonderful enough to roam around in a happy dress. I'm heading to Florida today for Spring Break.
A few nights ago I went to sleep filled with resentment and annoyance. I feel either mute or comatose. The desire to be a rock has probably caught up to me - either I have successfully become one, or am tired of pretending I am one. I fervently desire to be me again, and am swimming towards some clarity. I find myself homesick, missing something I can't quite put my finger on.
It's not as if I die of loneliness here; I have some friends of sorts that I enjoy meeting, life and academics are lively. The semester already seems to be drawing to a close and feels super hectic. Of course, that excites me. It is the strangest of feelings when I walk about campus - heart soaring, content, melancholy and inspired all at once.
Aditi called up a while ago and as if sensing what I was thinking about, made me sit down and list out the various things I would need to evaluate while seeking a partner. Some people are just sent by God, I tell you.
Today marks the official end of the "i h8 ppl" trip I've been on. I sat down and reconnected with all the friends I've been ignoring. Why is it hard to share with people? Why is it hard on me when I don't? I have answers to none of these questions about myself. As a person I have grown in an awkward direction and I don't know where all my self-improvement plans have gone. Till then I put my head down on a non-existent shoulder and sigh.
Give me back to me, please. Someone, anyone.
I know I have some lists to make, some posts to write. I don't have the courage to do those things yet. But I will.
Weather here is quite nice of late. A tad too warm for my liking, but wonderful enough to roam around in a happy dress. I'm heading to Florida today for Spring Break.
A few nights ago I went to sleep filled with resentment and annoyance. I feel either mute or comatose. The desire to be a rock has probably caught up to me - either I have successfully become one, or am tired of pretending I am one. I fervently desire to be me again, and am swimming towards some clarity. I find myself homesick, missing something I can't quite put my finger on.
It's not as if I die of loneliness here; I have some friends of sorts that I enjoy meeting, life and academics are lively. The semester already seems to be drawing to a close and feels super hectic. Of course, that excites me. It is the strangest of feelings when I walk about campus - heart soaring, content, melancholy and inspired all at once.
Aditi called up a while ago and as if sensing what I was thinking about, made me sit down and list out the various things I would need to evaluate while seeking a partner. Some people are just sent by God, I tell you.
Today marks the official end of the "i h8 ppl" trip I've been on. I sat down and reconnected with all the friends I've been ignoring. Why is it hard to share with people? Why is it hard on me when I don't? I have answers to none of these questions about myself. As a person I have grown in an awkward direction and I don't know where all my self-improvement plans have gone. Till then I put my head down on a non-existent shoulder and sigh.
Give me back to me, please. Someone, anyone.
I know I have some lists to make, some posts to write. I don't have the courage to do those things yet. But I will.
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